Blank You Very Much, Draco Malfoy
by Mira-cle Skye
Summary: It's valentines day and Draco Malfoy receives a very suprising valentine. A hilarious one, according to the Gryffindors. Who knew someone Hated Malfoy so much? Well, we sure do. Rated for language in the song, very insulting language at that.


**Hey, this is Mira. I had this idea when I was listening to 'Guess Who Batman' by the brilliant British singer, Lily Allen, and it was too good of an idea to pass up. Plus, the song fits him so much! And I decided to put it on this account in case my parents looked at my personal one and found this... Anyway, enjoy! **

**Oh, and they have DADA with the Slytherins just for the benefit of the story.**

**Warning: Contains obscene songs with catchy, bubbly, unfitting tunes and Draco Malfoy abuse.**

**Read the song lyrics, they totally fit Draco!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the song used in this, but Skye and I own Skye and Amaya.**

**和平！****(peace)**

Valentines day had come to Hogwarts again during Harry Potters fifth year, and it showed all over school. Apparently, the holiday was the favorite of the much despised Professor Umbridge, who had decorate the school in a way very similar to the way that Lockheart had done in Harry's second year. And she did not leave out the valentine-delivering dwarves, not at all.

-

"I can't believe she actually did this." Ron complained as he, Harry, and Hermione made their way to their Defense Against the Dark Arts, which they had with the Slytherins first thing on this already... _cheerful _morning.

"But it might put her in a good mood today and she may not be so nasty." Hermione pointed out.

"If only." Harry sighed.

"Well, you never know." Hermione retorted as they entered the classroom, which was more pink than anywhere else they had seen in the entire school and made Ron wretch in disgust.

"Bloody hell..." The red head said, looking around the room. There was hardly a space that wasn't covered it pink, white, or red.

The three took their customary seats as the rest of the class filed in. Their friends, Skye and Amaya **(Read some of the other stories on this profile for more info on them)**, took seats next to the trio, evil grins on their faces.

"Whats up with you two?" Ron asked, slightly worried by the evilness of their smiled.

"Oh nothing." Skye said in a sickly sweet voice.

"You'll see soon enough." Amaya said in an equally sweet voice.

"Okay class. Wands away and take out your books!" Umbridge said, entering the room. She was about to start speaking again when one of the cupid attired dwarves entered the room.

"I 'ave a valentine 'ere for a mister Draco Malfoy." He announced Draco smirked. Smugness level: 7

"A singing valentine."

Smugness level: 5

"Well, what are you waiting for, start singing." Umbridge said sweetly.

"Well, ya see, I'm not singin' it. It's some Muggle song that they wanted played." The dwarf replied. As soon as he heard that it was a Muggle song, Draco began to scowl and the smugness level was reduced to almost zero.

"The play it."

He took out some strange device that looked a bit like an old-fashioned record player and pressed a button. A song began to play with a cheery sounding melody, then the words started.

__

Look inside, look inside your tiny mind  
and look a bit harder  
Cause we're so uninspired  
so sick and tired  
of all the hatred you harbor

So you say it's not okay to be gay  
well I think you're just evil  
You're just some racist who can't tie my laces  
you're point of view is medieval

Fuck you, fuck you very very much  
cause we hate what you do  
and we hate your whole crew  
so please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you very very much  
cause your words don't translate  
and it's getting quite late  
so please don't stay in touch

Do you get, do you get a little kick out of being small-minded?  
you want to be like your father  
it's approval you're after  
well that's not how you'll find it

Do you, do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful?  
cause there's a hole where your soul should be  
you're losing control of it  
and it's really distasteful

Fuck you, fuck you very very much  
cause we hate what you do  
and we hate your whole crew  
so please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you very very much  
cause your words don't translate  
and it's getting quite late  
so please don't stay in touch

Look inside, look inside your tiny mind  
and look a bit harder  
Cause we're so uninspired  
so sick and tired  
of all the hatred you harbor

Fuck you, fuck you very very much  
cause we hate what you do  
and we hate your whole crew  
so please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you very very much  
cause your words don't translate  
and it's getting quite late  
so please don't stay in touch

Draco, Umbridge, and the rest of the Slytherins sat there in shock while the Gryffindors were all laughing. As soon as she came back to reality, Umbridge was furious.

"Who sent that?" She demanded. No one said anything. She gave them all the evil eye and stormed out of the room, telling them that class was ending early and to return to their common rooms. They all complied with that order.

-

At dinner that night, Malfoy's valentine was the height of conversation, Gryffindors all still laughing.

"Whoever sent that is bloody brilliant!" Fred said as he and the rest of them were walking up to the common room after the meal had ended.

"I just wish I could have done it." Ron said as they all climbed through the portrait hole

"Hey, was it any of you who sent it?" Angelina Johnson asked as the group entered the common room.

"No, regretfully." George replied.

"We know who sent it." Skye and Amaya said, all heads turned to see them standing at the top of the stairs to the girls dormitory. "Who?" Nearly everyone demanded.

"Us!" They said with a flourish.

"We shoulda known!" George laughed.

"Brilliant, my friends!" Fred called and they received various other compliments before they started singing the song themselves, much to the amusement to their house mates.

-

Back down in the Slytherin common room, Draco Malfoy was still in shock, Pansy Parkinson draping herself all over him in an attempt to snap him out of it.


End file.
